I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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