One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
