dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
