He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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