Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
