bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
