dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
