Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
