Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I look better un-naked...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
