Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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