she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I party with great urgency now.
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