he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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