I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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