Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
