she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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