dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
That reminds me...we need to get swords
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
