Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
