whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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