Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
