you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
