would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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