hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
