i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
