We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
