I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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