she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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