New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
