Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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