omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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