Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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