I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
