When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
