Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
