I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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