HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
