i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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