I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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