Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
