yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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