What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
