I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
