Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
