no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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