We won't sleep together?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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