I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
