there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
