he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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