Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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