we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
