I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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