My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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