Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
